sex with the earth and variations

I always grab my dick when an earthquake happens, then my hand automatically strokes dick. I feel as if I have sex with the earth. The fear fades away.

sheep version:
WHEN SHEEP MY DICK AUTOMATICALLY GO TO THE WOOL THE SHEEP BAA AND FEEL I HAVE SEX WITH THE SHEEP ALL BECOMING WELSH

 pizza version:
WHEN PIZZA MY MOUTH AUTOMATICALLY GO TO THE DOUGH I BITE THE DOUGH AND FEEL I HAVE SEX WITH THE SLICE ALL BECOMING CALORIES 

nazi version:
WHEN NAZI MY HAND AUTOMATTICALY GO TO THE CHAT I GET THE BAN AND FEEL I HAVE SEX WITH THE NAZI ALL BECOMING HITLER 

nazi version 2:
WHEN 1939, THE MODS AUTOMATICALLY GO TO THE CHAT. THEY DELETE THE CHAT AND FEEL THEY ARE ONE WITH HITLER. ALL BECOMING NAZI

copypasta version:
WHEN CHAT POST THIS COPY PASTERONI MY HAND AUTOMATICALLY GO TO THE CTRL C AND CTRL V I FEEL MYSELF BECOMING ONE WITH THE R K 

kripp version:
 ｗｈｅｎ　ｋｒｉｐｐ　ｓｔｒｅａｍ，　ｍｙ　ｅｙｅ　ａｕｔｏｍａｔｉｃａｌｌｙ　ｇｏ　ｔｏ　ｔｈｅ　ｓｔｒｅａｍ．　ｉ　ｗａｔｃｈ　ｔｈｅ　 ｓｔｒｅａｍ　ａｎｄ　ｆｅｅｌ　ｉ　ｈａｖｅ　ｓｅｘ　ｗｉｔｈ　ｔｈｅ　ｋｒｉｐｐ．　ａｌｌ　ｂｅｃｏｍｉｎｇ　ｗｅｌｌ　ｍｅｔ． 

poe version:
Ｗｈｅｎ ＰＯＥ， ｍｙ ｈｅａｄ ａｕｔｏｍａｔｉｃａｌｌｙ ｇｏｅｓ ｔｏ ｔｈｅ ｐｉｌｌｏｗ． Ｉ ｗａｔｃｈ ｈｉｍ ｓｐａｍ ２ ｓｋｉｌｌｓ ｗｉｔｈ ｎｏ ｇｒａｐｈｉｃｓ ａｎｄ Ｉ ｆｅｅｌ Ｉ ｈａｖｅ ｓｅｘ ｗｉｔｈ ｔｈｅ ｐｉｌｌｏｗ． Ａｌｌ ｂｅｃｏｍｉｎｇ ＳＬＥＥＰ

kripp v2:
WHEN KRIPP LOSE VOICE, MY EAR AUTOMATICALLY HEAR BATMAN, I LISTEN TO BATKRIPP AND FEEL I LOSE 2!#(%. ALL BECOMING THE NIGHT

doritos version:
WHEN DORITOS MY HAND AUTOMATICALLY GO TO THE MOUTAIN DEW I DIP THE DORITOS AND FEEL THE DOUBLE XP ALL BECOMING HALO 

dota version:
WHEN I SEE EARTH SPIRIT, MY HAND AUTOMATICALLY GO TO THE DISCONNECT. I CLICK THE DISCONNECT AND FEEL I HAVE SEX WITH THE ICEFRAUD. ALL BECOMING BALANCED. 

zelda version:
WHEN I SEE FEDORA WARP, MY HAND AUTOMATICALLY GO TO THE OCARINA, I STROKE THE OCARINA AND FEEL I HAVE SEX WITH THE OWL. ALL BECOMING BIRD 

mage version:
WHEN MAGE, MY EYE AUTOMATICALLY GO TO THE TOPDECK, I WATCH THE TOPDECK AND FEEL I HAVE THE FLAMESTRIKE. NEVER BECOMING NERFED . 

copypasta version2:
WHEN I USE THIS TEXT, MY BRAIN CELL AUTOMATICALLY BEGIN TO DIE, YET I CONTINUE TO COPYPASTA AND FEEL I CONTRIBUTE TO THE INTERNET. ALL BECOMING RETARD.

ziyori version:
WHEN ZYORI STREAM, MY HAND AUTOMATICALLY GOES TO MINE BALLS, I SNIFF THE BALLS AND FEEL I BECOME ONE WITH ZYORI. ALL BECOMING DREADLOCKS

brain cells:

ｗｈｅｎ ｉ ｕｓｅ ｔｈｉｓ ｔｅｘｔ， ｍｙ ｂｒａｉｎ ｃｅｌｌ ａｕｔｏｍａｔｉｃａｌｌｙ ｂｅｇｉｎ ｔｏ ｄｉｅ． ｙｅｔ ｉ ｃｏｎｔｉｎｕｅ ｔｏ ｃｏｐｙｐａｓｔａ ａｎｄ 

ｆｅｅｌ ｉ ｃｏｎｔｒｉｂｕｔｅ ｔｏ ｔｈｅ ｉｎｔｅｒｎｅｔ． ａｌｌ ｂｅｃｏｍｉｎｇ ｒｅｔａｒd