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Friday, January 30, 2015

casual crowd

Kripp. you do a lot for the casual crowd, such as myself. Whereas a lot of people try to be the best at gaming and play games that require a decent skill set, you continue to prove that people who play casually in games such as myself can have fun and not take gaming seriously. Keep up the good work!

sneaky donger

༼ຈل͜├┬┴┬┴ You've been ganked by the sneaky donger. Copypasta or the sneaky donger will gank your mom's bedroom.༼ຈل͜├┬┴┬┴

Thursday, January 29, 2015

suggested card feature

"Greetings, Kripp! This is an automated message from Blizzard™ Entertainment. You are receiving this message because our Hearthstone™ AI has flagged your account due to an unusual number of ranked game losses. We recommend that you use the 'Suggested Card' feature before progressing any further. Thanks - The Blizzard™ Team."

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

greatest EPIC MEME

You know what? Fk this chat, I have tried for months to create the greatest EPIC MEME ever but to no avail, all you guys do is copy paste “SEX THE CAT” and SKILL-CAPPED.COM™ type of garbage. I’m out, peace, I’m off to Nightgarbage3 chat, where people are more retarded than this.

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

cold sweat

It's 3:00 A.M. and Imaqtpie "Michael" Santana has to be up soon to stream. He awakens with a cold sweat screaming an with fear. Lisher awakes too and tries to sooth him. "Whats wrong baby?" QTPie says with a look of horror on his face "C-Crumbz picked rengar again..."

Monday, January 26, 2015

LCS technical issues

Mr Santana, this is Riot HQ. We traced yesterday's LCS technical issues back to you forcing your large donger into CoreJJs cooling fan. If you do not formally apologize CLG will be fined $25,000

Thursday, January 22, 2015

sodium

Sodium, atomic number 11, was first isolated by Humphry Davy in 1807. A chemical component of salt, he named it Na in honor of the saltiest region on earth, North America.

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

sell out

Kripp visits TSM HQ. Regi meets him at the door. "Is my signing bonus ready?" Kripp asks. Regi replies in the affirmative with some simian grunts. Kripp smiles as Regi leads him to a room where Trump and MasSan lie naked on a bed. "It's time to tuck FruMasSan," Kripp says.

tsm kripp

The Kripparrian eyed the delivery he just received in anticipation - a fat roll of US Dollars, courtesy of TSM. "Oh yes," he grinned, "this is exactly what I've been waiting for." He hastily unzipped his pants and inserted his throbbing *** into the huge wad of cash, moaning in ecstasy. He cried out, "I know I'm a sellout, but it was SO worth it!"

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

kripp jr

The year is 2020 Kripp is playing Hearthstone with his son Kripp Jr " Looks like you lose Daddy hehe, but I still love you! " he says topdeckingly... " Oh my *** god dude thats *** unreal, how can I lose to people this bad " Kripp spits coldly with hate in his eyes. Kripp Jr begins to cry....

Sunday, January 18, 2015

skill-capped dot com

As Qtpie retracts his raging man meat from Pobelter's swollen orifice and awaiting the inevitable pillow talk, Pobelter softly asks "Where did you learn to do that?" Qtpie leans over and whispers gently in Pobelter's ear "at skill-capped dot com".

Friday, January 16, 2015

text-to-speech

(╭ರ_•́)\ Mr. Yanyuk we politely ask for the program 'text-to-speech" to be used in this live broadcast for alas we will stir up a ruckus (╭ರ_•́)\

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Top Pastas and Emotes of 2014

Here is a listing of the top pastas and emotes from the entirety of 2014:

 Pastas (not including 1-3 words):
1. 16674 times...

ʕ ͡·ᴥ ͡· ʔ You've been visited by Hellbear Smasher of fortune. Clap your paws and copy paste this message 5 times without getting banned by mods and luck be with you for the next year ʕ ͡·ᴥ ͡· ʔ

2.  8976 times...

☑ “This guy's deck is CRAZY!” ☑ “My deck can't win against a deck like that” ☑ "He NEEDED precisely those two cards to win" ☑ “He topdecked the only card that could beat me” ☑ "He had the perfect cards" ☑ “There was nothing I could do” ☑ “I played that perfectly”

3. 8911 times...

<:::::[]=¤༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ I am the knight of spamerino. Stand back foul moderino <:::::[]=¤༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ

4.   6715 times...

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ OJ poured and candle lit, with this chant i summon Kripp ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ 


5.   6126 times...

( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮ Hey Kripp, here's a "brofist" for you. ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮


6.  3804 times...

ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ:・゚ RETARD WAVE!!:„ø¤º°¨ ¨°º¤KEEP THE RETARDNESS GOING ¸„ø¤º°¨ ¨°º¤øº LETS GO RETARDS !¤¤º°¨¨°º¤øº¤ø„¸¸ø¤º°¨„ ø¤º°¨¨°º  

7.  3143 times...

(◕‿◕✿) Hello! My name is Hafu! (◡‿◡✿) My boyfriend just broke up with me! He said he doesn't like looking at my beef curtains and my chest is too flat. (◕‿-) But it's okay! I will sob uncontrollably on stream. My viewers will feel sorry for me and give me lots of money. I like money a lot. (。♥‿♥。)



Top Emotes:

1.  Kappa 520395
2.  PJSalt 226562
3.  Kreygasm 179878
4.  FailFish 138826
5.  Keepo 136490 
6.  BibleThump 132327
7.  FrankerZ 122971
8.  PogChamp 81480
9.  HeyGuys 66042
10. BabyRage 63470

really uncomfortable

You know what really bothers me? When I walk into a public restroom and find semen and urine all over the seat of the only toilet there. It disgusts me and makes me really uncomfortable. That's how I feel reading this chat. Please no copy pasterino, these are my personal feelings and not to be mocked.

McKripp

I am the CEO of Mcdonalds™. Our new McKripp™ is the hottest selling item on the planet. The Bbw Asian Chicken mixed with OJ infused sauce makes for quite a delectable treat. Hop on over to P o r n h u b and check out our extreme closeups. Thank you

hate hearthstone

Kripp lets be real. You hate hearthstone now. It's pathetic to see you casting other players and playing casual matches with scrubs all to retain your viewer count. Be a man stick to your word and play something you enjoy

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

he had the perfect cards

I once had sleep paralysis and i imagined Kripparian slowly slithering up to me and i felt the brush of his wirey beard press against my chest and his boulder-like face was a miillimeter away from mine and he whispered "..He had the perfect cards" then drained all my RNG power right out of my chest. I cried for days.

totemic might

◥█̆◤ Hey Kripp, how's it going, totemic might here. I would just like to ask if you would build a totemic might deck where you use your totem and make it mighty for 0 mana. Thanks!◥█̆◤

Monday, January 12, 2015

RIP Kittarian

2003-2014 R I P Kattarian, you will be missed. I know Kripp would do unspeakable sexual things to you off stream and he killed you in a salt rage after getting top decked and then tells us that you are "temporarily gone" but just know this, chat loved you and we know you're in a better place safe from Kripp's evil

Sunday, January 11, 2015

ghost of gaming future

The Ghost of Gaming Future shows Kripp a nice house in the Toronto suburbs. Inside, Kripp, Rania and their sons are happily gaming as a family. "This isn't so bad," says Kripp. "Look closer," speaks the Ghost. Kripp looks in horror to see his sons are using tablets and playing browser cash-shop games. "This is your future Casualarrian."

reached the bottom

Casual Kripp has finally reached the bottom. He has descended to casualness not often witnessed. He watches other people play and imagines their wins as his. His ego is inflated to enormous levels, and he cannot help but pat himself on the back and take credit for a game he did not play. His ego is satisfied for now, but what comes next?

Friday, January 9, 2015

prepare to be boarded

My name is Lisha. I am the significant other of Michael "Imaqtpie" Santana. He has a really big dick. But he also has a really small bunghole. Michael likes it when I insert my 10" strapon into him while wearing a pirate hat and demands I say, "prepare to be boarded!

Thursday, January 8, 2015

yayo and co co

Dear QTpie, when I started watching this stream I was bronze v. since watching, i have learned about yayo and co co. Thanks to you, I am now addicted to drugs and don't even play League. Thanks bud!

sex glare

Lisha shows up in her sexy PJ's and gives Michael "Imaqtpie" Santana the "Sex Glare" and ask "Baby, do you want to go to bed with me?". Devastated, Imaqtpie shakes his head and starts to cry. "Didnt you see that Kalista play I did today? How can I ever get my donger raised after that "Play"

scrublord bronze 5 player

Hi Michael "Imaqtpie" Saltana, I am just a scrublord bronze 5 player looking for your advice. I main Nunu top and last game I was against a rengar, after laning phase I was 0/8. How am I meant to win a game when all of my teammates just feed because they're trash?