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Thursday, August 27, 2015

Noah Legerino

Hello Kripparino, this is Noah Legerino, CEO of Never Legend Incorporated©. As you may already know, we are requiring you to change your Twitch name to hl_kripp (has legend) as you no longer are a "never legend". This was stated in the contract you signed under section 6 article 9 paragraph 420. This is to be enforced immediately.

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

donger of destiny

Kripp enters his bedroom and notices something unusual. In his bed lays a 6/3 Reynad in stealth. Kripp has no answer for this play. He passes his turn and prepares himself for the donger of destiny.

Monday, August 24, 2015

conspiracy

FInals being played in MSG. Who else plays in MSG? The Knicks. Who's with the Knicks? Phil Jackson. What is Phil Jackson famous for? 3-peats. What is TSM trying to do today? 3-peat. Illuminati confirmed. Get rekt CLG.

Thursday, August 13, 2015

pondering through the house

Pondering through the house, looking for an adventure, the no longer small cat 'Smallcat' pondered upon this majestic and fabulous being, the one and only Imaqtpie. As he conquered his opponent and screeched his victorious chant "AYYYYY LMAAOO", Smallcat consentingly nodded his head.

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

fiora master

As the pain of hunger overtook the people of Africa they began to feel hope. "I will become the Fiora master!" said Michael "Imaqtpie" Santana. The people of Africa cheered.

Monday, August 10, 2015

dig 0-2

DIG is 0-2 down to TIP, in champ select for their next game -"If only QT was here" says Kiwi -Smoke appears and out steps Imaqtpie -He knocks out CoreJJ and instalocks Quinn, screaming 'SQUAAK!' -QT feeds his ass off and DIG lose 0-3

Thursday, August 6, 2015

so much autism

tfw you have so much autism that you spam the same sentence 50 times in one message over and over again and you don't realize that you're not funny because you're so autistic FeelsBadMan

feed lord is here

Michael "Imaqtpie" Santana slowly stroked his beard. There was only one thing on his mind. "I have a need..." he smirked. "A need to feed." His hand moved from his beard to his mouse. He locked in kog maw with a grin. "The Feed Lord is here."

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

i need to feed

"let's go home now, it's getting late" said lisha as they were walking past a group of homeless children. "I can't ignore them", said qt. "I need to feed"

Monday, August 3, 2015

sao

Asuna slowly moves up and down wrapping her arms around him. "A-Asuna I won't last much longer" FeelsKiritoMan Both let out cries of pleasure as she continues to bounce on him "K-Kirito-kun not there KYAA" wowsoASUNA

Friday, July 31, 2015

passive aggressive whiner

Reynad, no matter how many days off you've taken, every time I've watched you you've been an irritable, passive-aggressive whiner, but I'm still here anyway 4Head

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

internet badass

Alright, listen up motherfuckers. You think you're fucking funny spamming your shitty pasta and emotes. Well if you fucking dare copy and paste this message, I will literally come over to your house and knock you the fuck out. Is that understood?

Thursday, July 23, 2015

cats eye view

"wtf are you doing Micheal" Says Lisha as she walks into the room and sees QT on top of the Cat Stand. He looks at her and says "A cat's eye view is the best advantage."

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

brainless fuck

@Imaqtpie Are you so dull as to believe that there are no other factors to a team than k/d statistics? I'm going to be brutally honest with you. You are completely and utterly stupid. You have the mindset of an avid Call of Duty spectator, where the objective of the game is to get kills, and teamwork is essentially non-existent. Please, for the love of god, throw your computer out the window you brainless fuck.

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

quinn neglect

As Quinn finished her drink, she was overcome with sadness. "Valor, I get this feeling that QT won't ever play with us again." The bartender turned around. "Here's a drink on the house," said Urgot. "I know the feeling."

taylor swift

Hey QT, hey chatters!!! It's me, country-pop superstar Taylor Swift, but you can call me Taylor Swift. Just poppin' by to ask why the streamer won't play any of my hits today, it feels like we have Bad Blood. We Belong Together, i bet if we could go Back to December he would play my songs. Trouble.

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Rania doing laundry

Kripp why do you make Rania do all the laundry BibleThump Kripp why do you make Rania do all the laundry BibleThump Kripp why do you make Rania do all the laundry BibleThump Kripp why do you make Rania do all the laundry BibleThump

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

mother pie

QTPie, this is your Mother Pie, I've been told you've been drinking alcohol in your TV show my son, please don't do this to the family. Is it that Pobelter boy making you do this?

Monday, July 13, 2015

air force veteran

Hi kripp. I am a veteran of the United states Air force. I flew over 300 sorties in combat missions over Iraq and Afghanistan. I suffer from extreme PTSD, Anxiety, Depression, and Sleep apnea. I just want to say thanks for streaming POE I have been able to go right to sleep the past couple days. ResidentSleeper

chad

Hey Kripp, its Chad from the college football team, how you been bro? I see you're still playing video games some things never change! Hey are you still playing the wizard of warcraft game? I never had time for video games I was too busy playing football and going to frat parties. Anyways good seeing you bro,call me and we can hit the clubs.

Friday, July 10, 2015

maid Mira

"Hey Mira, good to see you," says Reynad as he opens the door. Mira smiles, "I'm sure we're going to have lots of fun this weekend. I brought my maid outfit." Reynad is excited, "Oh wow! I have a broken lamp that needs to be cleaned up!"

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

making memes since i was 11

Lɪsᴛᴇɴ ᴅᴜᴅᴇ, I'ᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴍᴀᴋɪɴɢ ᴍᴇᴍᴇs sɪɴᴄᴇ I ᴡᴀs 11, ɪʀᴏɴɪᴄᴀʟʟʏ ᴍᴇᴍᴇɪɴɢ sɪɴᴄᴇ I ᴡᴀs 17, ᴀɴᴅ ᴀɴᴛɪ-ɪʀᴏɴɪᴄᴀʟʟʏ ᴀɴᴛɪ-ᴍᴇᴍᴇɪɴɢ sɪɴᴄᴇ ɪ ᴡᴀs 20. Iᴠᴇ ᴄʟᴇᴀʀʟʏ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴀʜᴇᴀᴅ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇᴍᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴍᴇᴛᴀᴄʜɪɴᴏ ғᴏʀ ᴀ ɢᴏᴏᴅ 6 ʏᴇᴀʀs ɴᴏᴡ. Gᴇᴛ ᴀ ɢʀɪᴘ ᴜ ғᴜᴄᴋɪɴ ɴᴇʀᴅ

removed from friends list

Hey reynad, ever since I started watching your stream I wanted to be on your friends list and it finally happend after I donated, now you removed me.. I'm going to end my life because of you. good bye.

Monday, July 6, 2015

HTC ad

Guys the stream is working on my HTC™ smartphone! Maybe you should buy one? Did you know Kripp uses an HTC™ smartphone? HTC™ is also a sponsor of the stream. Consider buying an HTC™ today and enjoy Hearthstone™ on your HTC™! You can even watch Kripp on your HTC™ smartphone!

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Kripp, my son

It is the year 2016, the Paparrian waits patiently outside Kripp's Sellout Castle. The butler, Trump, opens the door and bows, "His Grace will see you now." Trump brings the Papa into Kripp's throne room, where he sits on a jeweled throne with the Succubus. "Kripp, my son," begins the Papa, but Trump interrupts, "You must pay to speak."