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Friday, October 31, 2014

world of hurt

Hey you mothefucker. You just entered a world of hurt. I just found my wifes texts to 'The Kripp', talking about dongers, topdicks, and salt. I don't know what kind of fetish *** you're into but you better find it somewhere else. I'm coming for you. If any of you autistic retards copy paste this I'll get you too.

stinkydinky

hi guys its stinkydinky here ive always dreamt to get topdecked by kripp giants pasta, i always go to nightclubs but never seem to find him. if you help me to follow my dream i'll maybe have a chance to get pasta'ed by the pastagod : Kripp thx no copymozarella

Thursday, October 30, 2014

kowak

Hi me name is Kowak and I are from Poland. Sorry for me bed England. I works in a shop, and i only earn a little money. So to afford an computer i had to selled me girlfriend. But I cant play LOL? Me heard that someone say something about internett, but what is internett? Ples help me poor human from poland. And no copy pasterino trollerino

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

strip club kripp

So I went to a Strip Club in Greece the other night and guess who i saw there. It was the Kripp with hundreds of 5 dollar bills. So the Stripper goes in a hot pose, Kripp smiles and pours himself a glass of OJ. Kripp said "Welcome to the 5 Dollar Club" and they went into a private room. Not sure what happened then but i guess he gave her a brofist.

retard wave

ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ:・゚ RETARD WAVE!!:„ø¤º°¨ ¨°º¤KEEP THE RETARDNESS GOING ¸„ø¤º°¨ ¨°º¤øº LETS GO RETARDS !¤¤º°¨¨°º¤øº¤ø„¸¸ø¤º°¨„ ø¤º°¨¨°º

Monday, October 27, 2014

year 2129

The year is 2129; humans can only communicate through increasingly garbled copy-pasta. A man approaches and says "ire: ███ 10 stroke dick ff ☑ EKT ☾ ☆ ¸. ?" In confusion, I reply "AT ASCII ຈل͜ل͜ຈຈ༽༽ノノ HA ʙᴏʟᴀ ヽ༼ಢ_ ♌ ❛ั∗)◞ TUCK F (◡‿◡✿)". This is the world we have wrought.

brofisting

Last night in Greece, Greek police heard reports of a Canadian man in a blue tacky sweater walking around the streets at night, 'brofisting' the local population. As a result 20,000 greek citizens have contracted the cancer. If you see this man, please report to greek policerino department.

beautiful hafu

My beautiful Hafu turns to me in bed and kisses me. Her cute smile fills me with happiness. Hafu holds me close as she whispers in my ear: "You know this isn't real. You're just typing in twitch chat. You're alone." "10/10 body." I keep mumbling.

Thursday, October 23, 2014

vibrator

  ヽヽ༼༼ຈຈل͜ل͜ຈຈ༽༽ノノ HAFU TURN OFF THE VIBRATOR ヽヽ༼༼ຈຈل͜ل͜ຈຈ༽༽ノノ  

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

land of freedom and glory

As I sit here in the land of freedom and glory, soaring on the wings of the bald eagle; I look down at the earth below me. Soaring over the crystal waters of the US Ocean toward 3rd world counties like Sweden and Germany, I am reminded that not everyone was lucky enough to be born into greatness. A single tear is shed as I weep at the thought of Denmark and Norway and the poverty they endure. The tear falls

filthy degenerates

Filthy degenerates throwing money at filthy degenerates behaviour. what filthy casuals you are throwing money and subbing at bad behaviour now i will cry on reddit and type a 10 page essay about how you guys are filthy degenerates because you support these stupid fistings and casual behaviour 凸 ◉_◔༽凸

Monday, October 20, 2014

flood of 1-17-11

19/10/2014, the day Sing went 1-17-11 with Jakiro, after his epic victory he went to go stream, he invited his stack and loaded up the stream, all he saw was a flood of "1-17-11 " in the chat, he was on the edge of crying but he carried on and opened up Skype, his stack proceeded to flame him rapidly. Singsing then closed Twitch and cried himself to sleep.

dumbledore

Michael, this is Dumbledore, Lord Voldemort has infiltrated the Dignitas house and killed Scarra. The legend says the one that carrys the mark of the donger on his forehead is destined to stop the dark lord. Please Michael avenge Scarra!

Friday, October 17, 2014

brofist

Every morning, I wake up only to watch Kripp play Hearthstone arena. I decide to subscribe to Kripp, join the '5-dollar club', to be part of Kripp himself. 'Welcome', Kripp exclaims, 'to the 5-dollar club!'. He gives the stream a brofist. I feel Kripp fisting me through the stream. A silent tear of joy escapes my eye

kaceytron version:
Every morning, I wake up only to watch Kaceytron play League of Legions.  I decide to subscribe to Kaceytron, join the 'Church of Kaceytron', I accept Kaceytron as my Lord and personal savior.  'Oh wow', Kaceytron exclaims, 'thank you for subscribing and accepting the love of Kaceytron into your heart!'.  She gives the stream a finger dance.  I feel Kaceytron fingering me through the stream.  A silent tear of joy escapes my eye

cookie clicker

Kripp, you are called casual all day everyday and I say it is time to stop. If you truly wish to play a mans game, Play the greatest game of all time, Cookie Clicker. Nothing is more hardcore and less p2w than the masterpiece that is cookie clicker. Play that on stream and never be called casual ever again.

Thursday, October 16, 2014

impersonation

Hello Michael Santana, this is Ríot Nick Allen, I am hereby fining you $2,500 for impersonation. Further violations will result in a permanent LCS ban, thank you.

improved eyesight

Hey Michael, I feel like your improved eyesight has improved your gameplay tenfold. With your old glasses, you would go 0/14 on Yasuo, now you're going 2/8 on Graves. Keep it up! Now you're A S C E N D E D.

raining ebola

♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ヽ༼ಢ_ಢ༽ノ☂ ɪᴛs ʀᴀɪɴɪɴɢ ᴇʙᴏʟᴀ ヽ༼ಢ_ಢ༽ノ☂ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌ ♌

windmill of friendship and tolerance

卐This is a windmill of friendship and tolerance卐 Copy and paste this if you also love twitch chat people!!!卐

kripp mumble

(◕‿◕✿) It's fantastic that Kripp provides a mumble channel so the mentally retarded can have a place to express their opinions. Thanks Kripp! (◕‿◕✿)

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

mancloud story

ok mancloud can you confirm this story: ok after XDG got relegated by the chinamen, mancloud went into a very deep depression. one that none of you stupid sluts would ever understand. he started drinking regular burnettes 100, a whole bottle a night. He would often be found by his friends in the iddle of the big city, just looking for someone who he could pay to service his diseased pecker. he would eat nothing but cheetos for days on end, and his pee looked orange as a result. there ws even evidence that he killed a man when he said "xiaoweixiao is a god". one day, after snorting a gigantic amount of cocaine, he passed out, he had OD'd. he was dying, but then someone came to save him. it was a burly large man, and all mancloud could see was his receding hairline. thats when he heard: "hey man wanna join the new curse academy roster?" saint had saved him. then they bonedInteractions available

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

smallish package

Amaz moans hard as Kripp gropes his smallish package. “Pepperoni” Kripp whispered into Amaz’s elvish ear, as they started making out. “Do…do I win?” Amaz says tentatively, as Kripp slowly tugs away his pants. “Your deck is crazy” Kripp says, as he flips Amaz on his back. “It’s lethal guys” Amaz says playfully, as he presents his Twisting Nether.

Monday, October 13, 2014

"the bola"

Mr. Santana this is Dr. Blumgold I have just subscribed to inform you that your Twitch Subscribers have been contracting the deadly virus known as "The Bola" if you dont stop missing Sion ult The United States of America will be infected by Christmas. Pls dont copy pasterino not a joke..

Friday, October 10, 2014

queen of england

Dear Qtpie. This is the Queen of England. I am revoking your knighthood due to your refusal to play Sion. Furthermore, keeping any gate is henceforth considered an act of high treason. Your insolence stops here foul knave

abe lincoln

Hi Michael, it's the ghost of Abraham Lincoln here, 16th president of the USA. Just wondering if you can let me see your minimap. I realize you don't like "ghosting" but maybe you can make an exception for me. Sorry for spooking you.