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Wednesday, May 25, 2016

kixelated

Hi, my name is Kixelated, you might know me from the 3rd division of the 22nd branch of Twitch’s official Nazi party. I am here to use my powers as one of the most important men of the our beloved Nazi party to ban all twitch MODERATORS that aren’t doing their job. You are supposed to prevent communism from spreading by banning all of the one man spammers, but instead, you are exactly like them. I want to let you know that you guys are fired

Monday, May 23, 2016

oh my god dude

The opponent mulligans his cards. "Oh my god dude, are you kidding me?" says Kripp. The opponent plays a 2 drop. "Seriously dude? This is crazy." The opponent draws a card at the start of their turn. "No fckin way dude, I can't beat that." The opponent hero powers. "This is some crazy RNG bullshit" says Kripp.

Friday, May 20, 2016

card logic

I looked at this card originally, and I thought, you know, it’s a card, and you play this card. The card will be that card that you’ve played, so you’re playing a card. So it is one thing to play a card if your opponent doesn’t really have any cards. The card will screw up the card pretty hard, and that means it’s a pretty good card.

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

blastoise

I remember my old friend Blastoise, long gone, long before Mario Maker, long before Brain Power, he stood by my side, even when witwix channel was offline, he was there, constantly watching over the children of chat, now he is no longer, who can tell what the consequences will be, all I know is, things will never be the same. Goodnight sweet prince. FeelsBadMan

Monday, May 16, 2016

stoned heart of the cards

Hello Kripparian, this is your father Vyascheslav from Moskva. I have started working overtime at the power plant, and your sister Tatyana has gone to Berlin to sell her body to Kraut swine for money. We do all this to pay for your "Stoned Heart of the Cards" game. Please win tournament and send us rubles soon, so our family can be together again.

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

eating cardboard

Hi Kripp, long time viewer. After you recommended the Curse app I trusted you and downloaded it. But you betrayed me, its complete malware. I resolved not to fall for it again, but then you endorsed eating carboard with such confidence that I couldn't help myself. Now I'm in the intensive care unit because my intestines are ruined. How could you do this to me Kripp? I thought you were my friend.

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

twitch memer

Here we can observe the Twitch Memer in his natural habitat, stuck as usual in this intricate limbo of carefully crafted memes, emote spam and endless copypastas that no one even bothers to read anymore. The Memer actually used to be a very functional human being way back then. Will he ever claim that state back and finally manage to reproduce?

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

viking jeff

Reynad began to sweat as his plane arrived, his anus clenched prepared for his intense meeting with the Anal Viking Jeff. Andrey's forehead moistened at the thought of his anus being torn asunder by the mighty Jeff.

jeff demolisher

Reynad moaned softly as Jeff pressed up against him. "Are you ready for my demolisher?" quipped Jeff. Reynad gave a short gasp "B-But it's too early, you don’t have enough mana!" Jeff shyly replies, "I've got a Coin-dom right here."

Thursday, April 21, 2016

bite the dust

Rania clicks the Disenchant button. "Haha, it was Pupparian!" she says to Kripp. Kripp nods. Later, Rania finds a note on her bed covered in a strange powder. It smells oddly of Pupparian and bone. The note reads "bite the dust." Rania doesn't hear Kripp approach with the gun in hand from behind.

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

giant robotic dog

Everyday my dad worked hard to feed us. My mom left us and my dad supported me on his own. We were doing well until my dad didn't come back from work today. Some asshole blew up the giant robotic dog he worked in and he died.

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

macbook pro

hey kripp i spend my last 2000 bucks on a macbook pro just to watch your stream. I'm currently living out of my car so I can't sub, but I had a bad day and really don't know if i can make it through the night. could i please get a brofist I promise I'll sub when I'm back on my feet! i love you bro

wincest

Hi Witwix! With your encouragement I was finally able to hook up with the girl of my dreams- My sister! Thanks for your support man, it will be hard for us but there is real love here

Monday, April 11, 2016

kripp food

When Kripp is eat I pretend he is eat me. I go down Kripp wet Kripp throat and am in warm Kripp stomach. Then I go deeper into the Kripp. I am made into Kripp gold. The Kripp sits on toilet and frees me. I am sad I am no longer Kripp food. Then Kripp eats me again.

Friday, April 8, 2016

year 2093

The year is 2093...QT somehow lived this long...he's on his deathbed....he turns on twitch.tv one last time..he goes to riot games channel to watch the worlds final.... Dignitas is there...They've made it...They're at baron...QTs heart rate goes up...doctors are rushing in to help.. Dig takes baron...aces the enemy....and makes the push to win worlds.. qt breathes one last breath and utters his final words ...My Boys..

backstab dig

Hey QT, I’m trying to learn to play Shaco. I just have a question about the skill build: Should I max backstab like you backstabbed DIG

RIP dig

Dignitas leaves the LCS and so I leave this cruel world FeelsBadMan ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\

Monday, April 4, 2016

birdarrian

Puparrian scampers excitedly seeing Kripp carrying the new bird cage. “Here you go, Birdarrian,” says Kripp as he hangs the cage in the office. Unfortunately, Pupparrian’s joyful romping caused Kripp to stumble, the cage bursting open and Birdarrian falling helplessly into the merciless jaws of the paper shredder sitting below the cage. “Oh no,” gasps Kripp, “I forgot about shredder placement.”

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

e-bullies

Jared shuffles to his locker wiping a tear from his eye. He looks over his shoulder to see DOM and QT, the jock E-Athlete bullies, laughing at him and his wedgie. Jared clinches his fist in rage knowing that soon the time would come, he will show them...

Sunday, March 27, 2016

vampire kripp

Octavian "Vladimir" Morosan, better known by his online username Kripparrian, is a Romanian Vampiric Twitch streamer and video game personality. Born: June 30, 1542 (age 473), Transylvania

Thursday, March 17, 2016

kuriboh for exodia

The older kid asks Young Reynad if he wants to trade. "Yeah! I'll give you Kuriboh for Exodia! Good deal, right?" The older kids discuss among themselves. "This kid is 10 years old and already a shark. If we don't stop him now, he'll grow up to become a Goldman Sachs banker." After much debate, the older kids decide to steal Young Noodle's cards to prevent him from becoming a career scammer.

Monday, March 14, 2016

sausage truck

Hey "Kripp!" It's me -- Rob from the Romanian sausage truck. I haven't seen you come by in a while! My friend told me you were a famous gamer, so I searched for you online. I honestly had no idea! Thanks for the shout-out. Keep rocking, and come by for a sausage if you have the chance. I'd love to see you again.

Friday, March 11, 2016

no beard

Hey Kripp, I've been watching you for 3 years now, I pretty much hate Hearthstone, but you're the only one I can watch, your arenas are really cool and you're the only entertaining Hearthstone streamer there is. Today I woke up, saw you without beard and I've got to say goodbye. I'll miss you.

Thursday, March 10, 2016

torture

Kripp is chained to the chair, sobbing as the man hacks at his face with a razor. He cries as the last bit of his beard is cut away, sapping him of his Romanian gypsy powers. "Please don't hurt her. I'll do whatever you want" says Kripp. The man with the razor laughs and says "Are you ready to accept the deal? Or do we need to hurt Pupparian?" Kripp shakes his head. "I'll do it. I'll stream Faeria."

Wednesday, March 9, 2016

failure

Every day my mother calls me a failure and tells me I'm worthless. I'm 24 and never moved out of the house. I dropped out of college and spend my days playing Hearthstone. I don't have any friends or a gf. My only companion is Kripp. I love watching his videos. But today Kripp says I'm pathetic for watching him. Goodbye, Kripp.