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Find your favorite pasta


Wednesday, November 26, 2014

consensual sex

@imaqtpie which champion would you have consensual sex with in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation after getting married and having your finances sorted out, staring lovingly into each other's eyes while HOLDING HANDS

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

brofisting trend

ヽ( ͡°╭͜ʖ╮͡° )ノ Kripp, it's me Papparrian. Your mother and I are very disappointed in this new 'brofisting' trend you've picked up on. We can only suspect it's due to you being around the succubus for too long. Please come home we miss you. No copypasterino cappuccino pizzarino pepperoni papa johns.

african american music

Hey Mr QTPIE, This is John's mother I would love it if you turned down this "African american" music down a notch so my son doesn't get corrupted. God Bless you.

Monday, November 24, 2014

gabe newell

Good Evening Octavian Moroșan, my name is Gabe Newell from the Microsoft team, and from analyzing your browser history we are here to inform you that your Windows XP Operating system is not valid. Your OS will be locked in 15 minutes until you have paid for the Microsoft product. If you have any questions or concerns please don't hesitate to call us!

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

press random numbers

Do you losers get a joy out of having people press random numbers on their keyboard when you tell them to? Does it validate your pathetic life? This is why I hate twitch chat, bunch of anti-social weaboos pressing random numbers as a form of camaraderie. How about you actually start a conversation with one another instead of being weird, yes I'm srs.

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

peter pasterino

Dear Kripp, this is Peter Pasterino from Blizzard™ It has come to my attention that you have abandoned playing Hearthstone on your stream moments ago. If you do not apologize and start playing it again right now, I will be forced to ban your account with all the dust you have on it.

Monday, November 17, 2014


How is this guy even successful at LoL? I mean all he does is scream "OH MAI GAWWWD" and "AWW BIITCHH" and then he proceeds to feed. Feed feed is a bad player and doesn't deserve all this attention and he is definitely not a pro. I am 4k MMR and I could beat him with my FEET. The only reason he wins is because 4.20 is a noob patch made for players like feed feed. pls copy and paste and show this to everyone

heil hitler

Wow I can't believe how you can say heil hitler when he killed so many Jews. You people should be ashamed of yourselves. Why can't you be like freedom fighter RTZ. So much shame. No copy pasta pls this is serious.

Friday, November 14, 2014

nazi folder

The year is 1945. "Hafu," Trump speaks breathlessly into the night. "Get back to the time machine. We have what we need here." A foul smirk plays upon his lips as he pockets a top-secret Nazi folder marked "Sub Mode." Lightning flashes and thunder crashes far across the German mountains. "We will see who says '*** Trump' now," he says.

Thursday, November 13, 2014

you call this spam?

You call this spam? I've seen better spam in Hafus chat. This is pathetic. I came to this stream expecting to see some real spam. I am dissapointed in the sad excuse for a chat. I'll be back when there is real spam.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

unfortunate loss

That's an extremely unfortunate loss Kripp, even though you outplayed him on every possible level he still beat you, i've never seen anyone as unlucky as you that match, nor anyone as lucky as he was that match. It shouldn't even be legal for someone as bad as him to beat someone as amazing as you are at this game

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

dumbest group of people

This chat is the dumbest group of people i've ever seen. I work with mentally handicapped people and i've been all over the world. I have been to beauty pageants and monster truck events. I have met a kid with an IQ of 8. I have even met President George W. Bush. But this chat is truly the most retarded thing I have ever encountered.

mario party 2

Hello my name is Sing_sing and I am from the distant future. I am here to inform you, past Sing_sing that you must replace S4 on SECRET and travel with your new team to the TI5 EU Hub and play Mario Party for 2 weeks straight, if you fail to do this The Bankers will take over the world and it will descend into chaos. Thank you for listening to future Sing_sing. Please no pasta alfredo

Monday, November 10, 2014

brofist for kripp

( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮ Hey Kripp, here's a "brofist" for you. ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮

Friday, November 7, 2014

kevin kuntmeyer

Dear Kripp, this is Kevin Kuntmeyer from P.E.T.A. It has come to my attention that you brutally brofisted a small defenseless Kitten in its adorable face live on your stream moments ago. If you do not apologize and rub his little tum tum for 20 minutes on stream, I will be forced to punish you to the fullest extent of the law. You've been warned.


Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Bro-Fist-All-My-Subs, this'll be the last pasta I ever send your ***. It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it? I know you got my last two pastas; I wrote the Kappas on 'em perfect. I'm in the chat right now, spamming penises in r9k. Hey Kripp, I drank a fifth of OJ, you dare me to riot?

Wednesday, November 5, 2014


Hᴇʏ Kʀɪᴘᴘ, Cᴀᴛᴛᴀʀʀɪᴀɴ ʜᴇʀᴇ. I ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴍʏ ᴄᴏɴsᴛᴀɴᴛ Mᴇᴏᴡᴇʀɪɴᴏ ɪs ᴀɴɴᴏʏɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ, ʙᴜᴛ I ᴀᴍ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴛʀʏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴡᴀʀɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ Sᴜᴄᴄᴜʙᴜs. Yᴏᴜ sᴇᴇ, I ᴀᴍ ᴀᴄᴛᴜᴀʟʟʏ ʜᴇʀ ʟᴀsᴛ BF ᴛᴜʀɴᴇᴅ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴀ Cᴀᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴜsɪɴɢ Bʟᴀᴄᴋ Mᴀɢɪᴄ ᴀɴᴅ ᴅᴏɴᴜᴛs. Iᴛ's ᴛᴏᴏ ʟᴀᴛᴇ ғᴏʀ ᴍᴇ, ʙᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ sᴛɪʟʟ sᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀsᴇʟғ. Rᴜɴ Kʀɪᴘᴘ ʀᴜɴ!!!;

public restroom

You know what really bothers me? When I walk into a public restroom and find semen and urine all over the seat of the only toilet there. It disgusts me and makes me really uncomfortable. That's how I feel reading this chat. Please no copy pasterino, these are my personal feelings and not to be mocked.

uncle mo lester

@Imaqtpie My niece turn 14 today and she's watching your stream Can you please say "Happy birthday Lea from uncle Moe Lester" ?

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

yayo is all i know

Dear Mitchel "QutePie" Stamina, I have to wirite an essay of 10 words about everyting but YAYO due tomorrow. Unfortunately, YAYO is all I know. Please help.

Sunday, November 2, 2014


Hello Michael Santana,my name is Rabia AKA Nįghtblúê3,and I am furious that you blacklisted my name.I am reporting you to twitch.Don't copy paste this or I will report you too

Friday, October 31, 2014

world of hurt

Hey you mothefucker. You just entered a world of hurt. I just found my wifes texts to 'The Kripp', talking about dongers, topdicks, and salt. I don't know what kind of fetish *** you're into but you better find it somewhere else. I'm coming for you. If any of you autistic retards copy paste this I'll get you too.


hi guys its stinkydinky here ive always dreamt to get topdecked by kripp giants pasta, i always go to nightclubs but never seem to find him. if you help me to follow my dream i'll maybe have a chance to get pasta'ed by the pastagod : Kripp thx no copymozarella

Thursday, October 30, 2014


Hi me name is Kowak and I are from Poland. Sorry for me bed England. I works in a shop, and i only earn a little money. So to afford an computer i had to selled me girlfriend. But I cant play LOL? Me heard that someone say something about internett, but what is internett? Ples help me poor human from poland. And no copy pasterino trollerino

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

strip club kripp

So I went to a Strip Club in Greece the other night and guess who i saw there. It was the Kripp with hundreds of 5 dollar bills. So the Stripper goes in a hot pose, Kripp smiles and pours himself a glass of OJ. Kripp said "Welcome to the 5 Dollar Club" and they went into a private room. Not sure what happened then but i guess he gave her a brofist.